


Playing Nicely.

by Melkur_Mistress



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Humour, Missy shrinks the Master, TCE, You could probably call it crack fic, light hearted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 23:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15673842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melkur_Mistress/pseuds/Melkur_Mistress
Summary: Basically Missy shrinks the Master but then can't reverse it, so she gives him to the Doctor to sort out. It's very lighthearted and not to be taken at all seriously.





	Playing Nicely.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the shortest story i’ve ever written, but my current one is so heavy and dark that i needed a lift. I will be writing a TCE related story next, but just did this to quickly try to lift my spirits.

She simply couldn’t remember how persistent she was when she was him. They had flirted, yes. Danced, yes. Kissed while the Doctor was still unconscious, yes. But that’s where the line was, because they were the same person. It didn’t matter if you were the hero or the villain, you just didn’t get physical with yourself, even if you both did look very good together.

Which is why Missy, standing with her back against the wall, caged in by him after he made a move on her, felt she had no choice but to teach him a lesson. It was just no way to treat a lady, all that lewd talk and graphic description of what he wanted to do to her. She felt justified. Completely justified, when his hands were on her waist, and his mouth on her neck suddenly. Her hands moved to her hair, removing her TCE, cleverly disguised as a hair pin, and she didn't even give him a warning.

And then it made perfect sense to relax, so she sat and had tea, her past self seated opposite her, the size of a doll.

“Tea?” she said, offering him a cup. “Well, i’m afraid I don’t have any smaller cups.”

She watched him scowl at her and she laughed. She had only shrunk him, she could put him back again...probably, but he was like a bear with a sore head as he glared at her while she sipped her tea.When she had finished, she aimed her TCE at him and pressed a button - and frowned.

“Oh, look at that, the reversal function isn’t working…” she said, biting her lip in thought.

She tried again and again and eventually placed her hair pin back in her hair.

“Well,” she said, her hands clasped together, resting on the table as she regarded him. “This is a bit of a pickle. Come on! Let’s go give the Doctor a fright….oh don’t look so grumpy, it’ll be hilarious to see the look on his face! Hey, I could hide you in  cupboard and you could jump out at him - we could have fun with this!”

“Missy,” the Master said. “Fix this. NOW.”

“Oh, you do look cute when you go all cross.”

“I am  _ not _ cute,” he said.

“Yes you are, you are seven inches tall and scowling at me. You are ADORABLE!”

She grabbed him, holding him behind her back as she went off to find the Doctor. It didn’t take long - he was outside, alone at that moment, looking out across the fields.

She stood next to him, her hands behind her back as she pondered how to broach the subject.

“Doctor,” she said. “I have a little problem.”

He turned to face her, “care to narrow it down?”

She smiled, “the other me - I was becoming incredibly irritated with him, and he kept rabbiting on about how we should find out the fun way if two versions of the same person could create a child...and he just didn’t listen! I told him it was wrong, and I was NOT going there with him, but he kept on and on. Long story short Doctor, he actually had the audacity to make a move on me. So…. I dealt with him.”

The Doctor became instantly concerned, “you...dealt with him...hold on...he wanted to get you pregnant? We’re trapped on this ship, with an ever evolving army of Cybermen advancing on us and he wants to make a baby??”

“Yes, well, he does go off on these wild notions, but don’t worry, I absolutely said no - are you impressed with my morals there?”

“Impressed?” he said, speechless.

“Not impressed in the slightest then? Oh well. Anyway, then I shot him.”

“You...shot him?” the Doctor asked, stunned,

“Yes, with my TCE, trouble is…”

“You have a TCE? Where did you get that from?”

“Doctor, focus - the finer details aren’t important right now, we have more pressing issues than my contraband to be concerned with,” she said impatiently.

“You...shot him with a TCE...did you KILL him? Did he regenerate into you? Are there two Missy’s walking about right now?” he asked in amazement.

“Oh don’t you  _ wish _ ,” she said with a wink. “No, I just shrunk him, look!”

She held him out, her arms outstretched as she thrust him towards the Doctor. The Master did his level best to appear completely dignified, and remained still, and fairly nonchalant.

“You...shrunk him...Missy….you can’t go around shrinking your past selves!”

“Really?” she asked disappointed. “It’s just this one  _ really _ annoyed me.”

“Is he stuck like that until he regenerates??” the Doctor asks.

“No, no. I can reverse it...it’s just...well, not working. So i’ve sort of gone a tad too far and need you to help sort it out,” she said.

“Well, that would be a familiar story, wouldn’t it?Not the first time you've shrunk yourself, _is_ it ?”

“Oh. My. Doctor. I shrink myself ONCE, and you just still can’t let me forget it, can you.”

“This would be the second time if you think about it..” he began.

She abruptly began to walk off, then turned, realising she still held the Master in her hand and casually tossed him toward the Doctor.

“Here, catch.”

The Doctor looked at her as she walked quickly back to the farmhouse, and then dropped his gaze to the angry looking Master in his arms.

“Ah, ok...i’ll….figure out how to reverse this then...looks like she’s left me to it.”

He resisted the urge to perch the Master on his shoulder, and instead sat him in the palm of his hand as he started to walk back toward the farmhouse.

The Master stayed silent, crossing his arms and pretending that he wasn’t bothered by the whole experience in the slightest. He decided not to ask Missy about the possibility of self conception again. Best avoid that topic.


End file.
